Colors I Thought I'll Never Have
Countless people view happiness as a picture of material possessions, prestige and power. That's partly because our generation today has loved the idea of being superficial—drawing conclusions on what the ears hear and what the eyes see. Many have forgotten that beautiful works can also spring up from those messy hands behind the scenes.
I used to hear people say in the past that I’m fortunate for having an easy and abundant life, with my family who, literally, had a better status before. We’re not actually a very rich kind of family, but for a small town with people who live simple lives, our family was considered better. I could easily get what I wanted and lived extravagantly. For that, people thought I had everything. They thought my life was picture-perfect. What they didn’t know is the truth that I was not happy, I was not satisfied, and I kept asking for more. Despite what I had before, I have lots of insecurities and I have always longed for love. I really didn’t appreciate what I had back then. I was selfish, proud and conceited. I was wasteful and just spent carelessly. I remember myself complaining more than being thankful.
My life just went on like that, until I entered college, when suddenly things weren’t the same anymore. My father’s business broke down that left us with mountains of debts. It hit hard and reached the point of selling the house, selling our stuffs, selling some of the properties. The easy and abundant life I used to have turned into a life of hardship and scarcity. I was devastated and I felt so ruined. My life felt like an empty canvass with no colors at all. But, in those trying times, someone came and held me tight—kept me strong. I met Jesus. He became my Lord and Savior and I received His gift of eternal life. He showed me that there’s more to life than just material things and earthly possessions. He showed me the beauty and colors of living I thought I'll never have.
It’s amazing how I only learned to be happy and contented when everything I had before was taken away, for the truth stands that Jesus alone can give true happiness and satisfaction—that in Him alone we can have life and have it to the full. It's pretty ironic how my life grasped true beauty from all of that mess. My family really didn’t recover from the losses and weren’t able to pull through financially. We’re now living a simple life, far from the past. But God changed my heart. With Jesus, I learned to appreciate the little things and see in a different perspective the things I didn’t even notice before. I learned to be thankful over simple matters. I experienced His grace and grasp security from His love, not from what I possess. God cultivated humility, thankfulness and contentment in my family. And as I grow more in Him, He never fails to sustain, and He continually shower me with true riches found in His eternal love.
